Badges If you work on the Hill and wear a bow tie, you know you’re a douche. As many as 4 million people in the U.S. hold Top Secret security clearances. I’m just saying. Like the shocker, but more sophisticated. It happens all the time. Might as well celebrate it. Prerequisite: Basic Swimming To date, only Miley has earned the “Advanced Twerking” badge. Extra credit if you use a rotary phone. Before it became slutty, it was merely an exercise class. A couple of guys who were up to no good started making trouble in their neighborhood. You know your mom’s all-female book club is up to more than just reading… Celebrate your ironic narcissism with an ironic, narcissistic badge! Nobody puts Baby in the hörn. A 1950s rancher is a good starter project… Nice bindle. My mom always predicted I’d find myself up Shit Creek without a paddle. It’s all about the correct curvature of the toe. Don’t come crying to me when you break your turtle leg… Hey, if Paris could do it, so can you!